Help....

I haven't posted in nearly over a year! So, to some up. I went a bit crazy. My mother had a serious heart problem and had a serious operation. We've been in and out of hospital all year. I did my GCSE's and they were terrifying! I am so fat at the moment. I lost loads of weight, then put it all back on, due to stressful times. I am now doing the 'ABC' diet, although I am eating a bit less than what is suggested. I miss the old me, I wish I was thin again. Any advice out there guys? I could really use a dieting buddy if anyone is interested? I hope you're all doing well, much better than me probably lol.

Be well, stay strong guys.
We're all in this together .... Xxxx

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Laziness

I have been so busy lately I havent had the time to post. I have been eating so much lately I actually hate myself now, got so many exams and I'm sure I'm depressed :/ Well from today I'm turning it around, I will be so tiny by Christmas I swear it. I'm not allowing myself to eat more than 200 calories a day, I know it's not healthy but I'm desperate. Hope everyone is okay and doing well with their diets

Help!

What a horrible day yesterday was! I felt really down and depressed and I gave in. I had 2 pieces of pizza, some  chips, haribos and chocolate buttons. Now I actually feel worse than I did yesterday. Great. I dont even want to know how much I gained but I feel hugeeeeeeeeee. Yesterdays binge was so not worth all the hassle I feel today. At least I know now I wont be doing that again for a long time, I'm pretty sure the next time I eat like that will be Christmas. So to make up for being so stupidly weak I am fasting all day today and only eating 80 calories tomorrow and for the rest of the week. Tomorrow on my ABC diet I'm supposed to have 800 calories - Like hell am I doing that. My lack of self control yesterday is embarrasing. My aunt came down again today and she said I was looking thinner ! I dont know how I fell the size of a truck. Anyways, sorrry for such a depressing post, I just seriously needed to get this off my chest.


Hopefully everyone is doing better than me,
much love x   

ABC

So I am well into my fourth week on the ABC diet, tomorrow is my 100 calorie day. Its going alright but tbh I'm struggling to find low calorie foods that I like so I am basically just sticking to 0cal jelly and celery - a balanced diet I know haha. I am seeing results but its just really slow atm. I am still to scared to weigh myself, which is just really shitting as I don't know how much weight I've lost or put on but my clothes are starting to get too big (yay!). If only they all get reaaalllly big then I'd have a perfect excuse to shop for new ones tehe. I thought I would feel really tired and lethargic on this diet but surprisingly I feel great. Somedays I have a bad spell and get slightly depressed but a can of SF red bull usually changes my mood :) Lately I've been super cold, everyone else is fine and I am absolutely freezing, I mean its only October it cant be that chilly right? Anyhow I've resorted to wearing four layers to school now, one including thermals; of course I hate this as it makes me look mega fat and chucky, but it beats being cold I guess :P Tomorrow I'm going into town with my mum to get a dress for my boyfriend's birthday, I'm soooo excited but I havent got a clue what to get. I want to look sexy and confident but not like trashy and cheap.  Hmmm...   

How many calories would you say are in Haribos?

My school's prom is coming up in January and my best friend is stressing as she hasnt found her dress yet, personally I'm not bothered as I plan to lose at least a stone and a half by then; well fingers crossed. I want to look pretty and slim and elegant, although I'd have to have hugeeee heels as I am a dotty 5ft 4. I am planninf to wear black as black is slimming and wont make me look to fat. Anyways I'm addicted to Haribos! The star mix, the tangfastics, any ones haha. I normally have a few a day and by a few I literally mean about 4, say about 40cals>? I add them to my calorie intake so it's hardly cheating, I think :P Lately no matter what I do, how much weight I think I've lost my thighs always stay the same damn size, I'm a 6/8 on top and a 10 on my legs! It looks really odd, I mean their quite toned but still so fat, I just wish they would shrink and be the same size as the top of my body. I'd lovee to be a cheerleader, I love dancing but as I live in Britain we dont really tend to have them over here which is preetty gutting. Had a pretty good day today, I ate one bowl of 50calls soup and Diet Coke, I really need to start drinking more water tho lol. 

Cooookieeesss

How come every time I fast I always end up crying>? I'm not good when I don't eat, I get really moody and sooo emotional. I have another fast on Saturday on the ABC diet, although I'm planning to stay in all day saturday to revise for my exams, a bit nerdy I know but oh well haha, and my mother is going to be probably staying in too. She WILL notice me not eating, I havent a clue what to do. Are you allowed to swap days around on the abc? Lately I have been getting a reallly bad back, I donno if that's a side effect to not eating or it's just to do with the fact I am hunched over a desk for hours on end every day..... Sorry for my bit of a moan, I really am stumped at what to do. Anyways, I am planning to make Smartie Cookies tomorrow with my little cousin, I wont be able to have any, but at least they'll make her happy :) Dreading it tho as I really hope I've got enough will power to resist them aha. I misss being little and getting excited of the most simplest of things, like swings and big puddles haha and oh yeah, being able to eat what you like, when you like without giving a fuck :P

I want a gap between my thighs

I have decided I am going to continue with this ABC diet until there is enough of a gap between my thighs that I am happy with. Of course this is going to take ages as my thighs are oddly proportioned to the rest of my body (their huge !)  The good thing is my mother thinks I am eating at school and then when I come home I continue with "I ate a big lunch" and go straight to my room to revise. My mother is happy as long as  I'm happy and dieting makes me happy so why should she worrie? I think thats what her and my aunt rowed about today tbh because my Auntie notices every pound lost and every pound gained and can be overly concerned sometimes. I have been keeping my callories down to below 200, I know this is really unhealthy but I have an anniversary to go to at the end of the month and reaaaaallly need to fit into my dress and not look fat in it. I lost an inch off of my waist when I measured this morning so that put me in a pretty good mood when I went into school, which was then crushed when i found out I had maths first period, I was 26" now I'm 25" :D   Anyways, I have a whole evening of revision to do today as I have my exams coming up, Fab. 


Hope everyone is feeling fine,
keep your eye on your goal weight guys, 
lots of loveee :)